SOME say love is blind. True for some people and not true for some. Personally, I would say this is a relative term and an arguable one at that.
Relationships need work, care, attention, commitment, loyalty and honesty. It takes two to make it work which is a fact. Relationship involves two adults with the ability to accept each other’s mistakes and forgive. The capacity to forgive, overlook and ignore works differently for everyone.
We all know that love is about action. Love needs to be nourished, kept vibrant and have the power to endure through hard times and not just in good times only. We all have various beliefs on the concept of having a soul mate, even if you are someone’s soul mate, you still have to work on the relationship, keep the relationship healthy is not for one person only, it is for everyone.
The amazing thing about relationship is that you can indeed be with the right person, who is your “soul mate”, and still face numerous problems in your relationship because every relationship has and will have its own fair share of problems, no one can exist in a relationship without facing problems if you stay together long enough, sometimes the longer you are together the more problems you will face. The important thing to know is how to solve relationship problems without breaking up? Because if these issues are not properly and maturely handled, there will most definitely be a break-up.
How you are able to sort your relationship problems is what shapes your love life and defines the health status of your relationship. When you and your partner experience issues, quarrels, challenges and arguments, you know that you both need to answer some questions in all sincerity and honesty.
Do you try to amicably fix things? Do you take a temporary break from the relationship? Will taking a break from a relationship work? Should you seek out advice from councillors on relationship challenges?
I will share a few ways to solve problems in relationship without breaking up. Please, note that there will be more than one way to resolve issues. It all depends on what works for you and your partner.
Let us say that things between you are not at their best right now. You have some long or short term relationship issues.
You’ve been in a sad or perhaps destructive cycle: fighting, making up, fighting again, ignoring each other, trying to communicate, but failing to do so in a healthy way.
You are at a point where you are seriously considering taking a break from the relationship and fed up with recurring arguments. There are so many couples who have taken various steps in resolving issues by first taking a break or time out from each other. Some say it is a healthy way to sort issues. I won’t say it is or it is not, but it works differently for everyone.
Time out from your relationship
If you and your partner decide that taking time out would be a good idea, it is essential that you both agree on some specific rules that you would respect during this trial period. Some suggestions include:
- An end date for the time out. The date at which point you two agree to evaluate the usefulness of the relationship break, and you decide whether or not to remain in the relationship or walk away.
- Would it be acceptable to date others during the break?
- Is sex with others allowed? If so, always use protection, so you do not put yourself or your partner at risk, especially if you are intending to come back together
- What will your communication look like during the break? It may be best to not communicate, to give yourselves a chance to “miss” each other.
- This will also allow you to tune into any feelings that might arise when your partner is not present. Are you happier? Sadder? This will help you determine if your relationship is worth saving.
- Use your time away from each other wisely. See friends you neglected during your relationship.
- Take up a new sport or hobby. Journal your feelings. Be selfish: you only have yourself to concentrate on now in other words practise self-love. If you have never done it before please learn.
Sometimes a break is indeed a valuable step to take towards resolving relationship issues, and sometimes a break leads to the break-up of the relationship so like I said it works differently for each couple.
Whatever the outcome, it will be the one that was meant to be. If he or she is for you, then you will both find a way. Every relationship issue has its own peculiar solution.
Good communication is important, or some level of communication, which is better than no communication. Of course, no communication leads to the eventual break-down of the relationship. One of the first tools you will use on how to avoid a break-up is your words. Both of you need to be able to respectfully communicate your side of the story in order to move towards respect being the key word here. If you cannot manage this successfully, then you need to urgently find a neutral mediator to help you both.
What drew you together?
Going backward, figure out what drew you both together. Like when you both first met. What’s the gist behind you both meeting up. Can those feelings be revived?
Change your boring lifestyle, learn to make life interesting for both of you. This takes effort not just words.
Find out how to balance it and find what makes each of you happy. You have to try not to take each other for granted. This very easily happens. After a while, arguments will start and a once healthy relationship becomes toxic.
Try new things together, no matter how small. Short weekend trips to places you’ve never seen before.
Life is not a fairytale so is your relationship
Let us face it, not many of us are informed that life is not sweet 24/7. One of the best bits of advice that couples can implement when resolving issues in a relationship is to know that: Love is not a fairytale. When you put two people together, you automatically have two different ways of looking at the world. We are talking about two entirely different thoughts, ways of reasoning, upbringing, background, tribes and sometimes religion too! So just imagine a million and one issues that can cause conflict.